People often ask if there’s any need for privacy in a relationship. The answer to that question is YES.
A loving and healthy relationship, gives room for partners to be independent of eachother. This means that everyone is entitled to a private life in a healthy relationship. The life one has outside his/her relationship is their private life. This life has been in existence before that person met his/her partner. It might be hobbies, friends,work or anything 
It’s a good thing to have an open relationship with your partner but there should be a limit to “everything”. Okay, hold on. There’s a difference between privacy and secrecy. According to Merriam Webster dictionary: Privacy is the state of being apart from company and observation while secrecy is the act of keeping information hidden.
The reason why most people keep secrets in a relationship is either because they are ashamed of what they did or they are afraid that they would loose their partners love, loyalty and trust.
For instance,you saw your high school girlfriend on facebook and you started chatting with her then you noticed that the conversation was rekindling the old flame that existed in high school. You guys met with eachother once or twice. But then,you realised that you were in a relationship and you don’t want to loose your partner. So you severed you ties with your ex.
Out of fear, you decided not to tell your partner about it. That’s a SECRET. Why?….You kept an information that could threaten your relationship from your partner for the fear of hurting them.
Psychologically, when a partner is holding a secret a part of them is not available for connection because they are weighed down with thoughts of the secret and what would happen if it’s spilled.
Secrets kill trust and once a break in trust has occurred in a relationship it would be very difficult to regain.
If you suspect your partner is keeping a secret don’t always spy on them or eavesdrop when they are on the phone. Don’t hover over their shoulders to read chats or to check who they are texting. Ask them about it (communicate) and if they do not want to tell you, don’t force them. Just let go. It’s up to you to forgive them when the truth comes out.
How to draw the line between privacy and secrecy in a relationship
– Have a discussion with you partner about what should be considered privacy/Secrecy: make sure no one is left out at the end of the discussion.
If your partner is an open person who loves to share anything and everything (most ladies fall under this category) then respecting your privacy might be difficult for her because she’d always have questions and would want to have access to your social media accounts and mobile phone passwords and that’s because she would give them to you if you ask.
Just make her understand your need for privacy and don’t give her any reason to doubt you.
– Respect your partner’s need for personal space:
When there is no room for privacy in a relationship, romance wanes as there is no room for fantasies. If you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you don’t have to include yourself in every aspect of their lives.
They’ve always had a private life long before they met you so respect that fact and do not smoother them or make them feel uncomfortable/Suffocated. Give them SPACE.
In conclusion,
we remember who we are as we learn to exist apart from each other.
Being with someone doesn’t mean you should give up your dreams, who you are and what defines you. Without privacy You’d loose your sense of self.
It’s up to you to decide. Ask yourself the reason why you’re keeping something away from your partner. Is it private or is it a secret?
Need some communication tips? Check out this article on essential tips that would strengthen your communication.
Effective communication: 11 Essential Tips to Strengthen Your Relationship.
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